Tiger Woods’ “transgressions” seem to have turned his world around. Once famous for his GOLF, he’s now making waves with news of the FLOG-ging his wife (supposedly) gave him!

Stwabbit and Ian are both ‘whiny’ children. They like to whine and throw tantrums about anything and everything.

However, Ian considers himself a master of the art. When asked why didi (Stwabbit) whines, his reply is:
“I think she’s learnt it from me!”

A few months ago, my sister came visiting us along with her family – her husband, and my 5-year old nephew Ian.

One evening, when we were going out for dinner, Stwabbit and Ian had the following conversation…

Ian: I love my parents.
Stwabbit: I love my parents and my grandparents.
Ian: I love my parents, grandparents, and everybody!
Stwabbit: I love my parents, grandparents, everybody, and the car!
Ian: I love the whole world!
(After a pause): Except for policemen!

“Papa, we’re not buying crackers this Diwali!” Stwabbit declared.

“Fine”, I said, and continued with my work.

“Do you know that crackers are made by little children in factories run by bad men?” she continued.

“Really?” I said.

“Yes. They are hardly paid anything, and if they get tired and stop working, the bad men hit them and make them work harder!” Stwabbit exclaimed.

“That’s bad!” I replied.

“Yes! It’s called Child of labour!”

Stwabbit believes there were two distinct eras – B.C, or Before Color, and A.D., or After Dr. Eastman (You’ve heard of ‘Eastman color’ haven’t you?!!).

The B.C. era was the era before color was invented, where the world was in black, white and shades of grey. Everything, including the sky, trees, people, gold jewelery, et al.

One day, Dr. Eastman discovered color, and that changed the world. He went around painstakingly coloring everything around him, so that the world could be the way we see it today.

 Stwabbit has changed loyalties – Salman Khan is out. Ranbir Kapoor is in!

Stwabbit was reading up on sundials.

“Papa, look! This is what people used to tell the time before watches were made!” she exclaimed, pointing at a picture.

I dutifully expressed my ignorance and allowed her to explain how sundials worked.

“How did they tell the time at night?” I asked innocently.

“Papa, you’re so silly at times – with a torch, of course!”

My father’s book, LWUIT 1.1 for Java ME Developers, is out! It’s available on Amazon as well…

LWUIT 1.1 for Java ME Developers

So, here I am, finally! After a hearty meal, I was admitted to the hospital by the Missus and in-laws. Went through a series of tests – blood tests for a zillion things (including HIV; negative… yay!!), ECG and chest X-ray. Everything seems to be fine, and the doctor specifically said that smoking has caused NO damage to me whatsoever! That’s a great feeling, and another point for Lady Nicotine!

Tomorrow is the big day. I’m not allowed to eat or drink anything midnight onwards… the thought is freaking me out! I’m put up in a twin-sharing room, and I’m the only patient in it right now, but I’m hoping that the next bed is occupied by a stunning babe, if at all!

What sucks is that the rooms don’t have washrooms attached – one has to avail the facilities down the hall. I wonder how I’ll manage once the surgery is over, and my hand movements are restricted! Oh, and I couldn’t find any soap next to the basins… I’m carrying my own soap dispenser around! The Missus is trying to convince me to shift to a private room, but I think I’ll endure the torture as part of the experience .

My bed’s next to the window, on the third floor – looking out, I get to see trains passing by, and traffic on the overbridge. The latter, I could’ve done without…

That’s about it, as far as my first day here is concerned. I’m supposed to attend a meeting with doctors at 7:10 in the morning tomorrow, where they will drool over me and decide when to cut me up – at 11:00, or 1:00… . Till then, ‘not a drop to drink’!

Update August 31: Post-surgery, I was moved to a private room – the Missus had her way (I’m grateful to her for it)!The surgery took around 3 hours, and now I’m well on my way to recovery. Should be home in a couple of days. As for the experience of spending one night in a twin-sharing room, it deserves a post of its own!

The country is reeling under the effects of swine flu… the miserable state of healthcare in the State has been laid bare… our health minister opens his mouth only to change feet…

Yet, what Indians want is that our “celebrities” should be given VIP treatment… suddenly, swine flu is no longer a matter of concern…

Former President Dr. Abdul Kalam is searched by security guards and he accepts it like a thorough gentleman… yet, Indians are outraged by a movie star being questioned?

Why can’t our politicians and the public concentrate on the innumerable real issues that we have to sort out, as a nation?