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Posts Tagged ‘daughter’

Teenage Woes

“You know what, Papa – the bloody problem is that nobody takes me seriously!” Stwabbit exclaimed one day.

Well, if that’s the kind of language you’re going to use, sweetheart, I’m going to have to take you seriously.

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For almost a week now, there’s been a new tab right at the top – and, it proudly reads “Dadly Experiences… The Book“.

Nobody noticed, nobody commented… 😦

Oh, and nobody ordered a copy, either!

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The Lion and the Mouse

My dad called me to remind me that I had yet to chronicle this incident…

Usually, it’s one of us who have to tell stories to Stwabbit. When my parents are around, my dad is the chosen one. One afternoon, though, Stwabbit decided it was her turn to entertain him. Here’s how the story went…

Once upon a time, deep in a forest, there lived a proud and mighty lion. All the other animals cowered when he roared. He was the king of all he surveyed. And, he lived life, king size.

One afternoon, having spent a hectic morning roaring and frightening the other creatures, and having had a satisfying meal on one of them, he settled down under a shady tree for his siesta. The lion snored, and that was almost as frightful as his roar.

A mouse, living nearby, was unable to partake of his afternoon nap because of the lion’s snoring. He decided to make the most of the situation and have some fun. He stepped out of his humble abode and crept up to the lion. The lion snored on. The mouse tugged at the lion’s tail. The lion snored on. The mouse climbed onto the lion’s back. The lion snored on. The mouse ran up and down the lion’s back. The lion couldn’t care less. The mouse decided to slide down the lion’s nose… whee… once, twice… The lion gave a mighty roar and caught the mouse deftly in his paw.

“What is the meaning of this outrage?” growled the lion.

“Uh… just admiring you, your Majesty,” squeaked the mouse.

“You tiny little creature… do you know that I could devour you in one gulp if I so desire?” said the lion.

“You probably could, but this is no time for a snack!” came the cheeky reply. The lion was taken aback.

The mouse continued, “Let’s cut a deal. You let me go, and I’ll give you an IOU. If you ever need my help, you can encash it!”

The lion was amused. “What use can you ever be to me?” he asked.

“Don’t bet on it, buddy boy. Here, note down my cell phone number, and if you’re ever in trouble, just give me a missed call,” said the mouse, matter-of-factly.

The lion extracted his cell phone from his arm-pit (lions don’t wear clothes, so they don’t have pockets, you know!) and noted down the number, just to humour the mouse.

“Ciao!” said the mouse, as he scampered away.

Days passed, and life in the forest continued as it had for ages. The lion was in his kingdom, God was in his Heaven and all was fine with the world. The lion soon forgot about his encounter with the mouse.

One fine day, as he strutted about complacently, the lion walked straight into a hunter’s trap. Finding himself trapped, he growled and roared. But, the Moving Finger had written, and having writ, moved on. The mighty lion had been captured. His end was near…

The lion , exhausted by all the roaring and growling, lay down, resigned to his fate. Tears streamed down his face as he recalled the glorious years he had spent, ruling the forest. Hours went by, and the lion lay tired and hungry, entangled in the net.

It was nearing dusk, when a thought struck the lion. He remembered the IOU of the mouse, and wondered if that could be encashed before his imminent death. After all, you don’t waste IOUs, do you?

So, the lion reached out for his cell phone, and gave the mouse a missed call. And one more…

Suddenly, as though by magic, the mouse appeared before the lion!

“In a spot, pal?” asked the mouse.

“Uh… kind of. Hey, do you think you can get me out of this mess? You owe me one, you know,” the lion reminded him.

“Sure thing. What are friends for?”

The lion squirmed at the thought, for no one really wants a mouse for a friend, but he decided to let it pass for the moment.

The mouse made a few calls, and before long there stood an army of mice before the lion. In a flash, the mice had gnawed away the net. The lion was free!

Well, to cut a long story short, the lion and the mouse became inseparable pals from that day on.

Moral: Always carry your cell phone; and remember, help is always a missed call away!

Stwabbit’s version, my eloquence. We make a great team!

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Cleverly disguised IQ!

I attended my daughter’s parent-teacher meeting at her school this morning.

“Your daughter is very intelligent, Mr. Sarkar”, the teacher said.
I beamed at the other parents, feeling a notch above the rest.

“However,” the teacher continued, “she prefers to keep her intelligence under wraps! All she’s interested in is talking all day!”

Ouch! It was like falling off the balcony from the 10th floor!

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First, At Last!

Yesterday, my daughter’s school arranged some sports activities. My daughter participated in the sprint.

Later, at home, this is how the conversation flowed:

“Mama, I came first today!” squealed my l’il bundle of joy.

“Hey, wow! You won!” exclaimed the missus.

“Er… not exactly…”, came the reply.

“You came first, but didn’t win?” probed the missus, confused.

“Well, you see, it’s like this… The three who won are different. I came first amongst the ones who didn’t! ”

That’s my girl – content with her lot. After all, being the first non-winner is no mean feat!

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Oh, To Be First…

We’re in the doctor’s waiting room. There are three others ahead of us. The missus is leafing through a magazine, I’m twiddling my thumbs, and my daughter’s sitting on a chair with a bored expression on her face.

“When do we go in?” she pipes.

“Not for a while. There are others ahead of us”, explains the missus, without looking up from her magazine.

A frown envelops my daughter’s face. Tears swell up in her eyes…

“I can’t be first at anything! I don’t stand first in school, and now I can’t be first at the doctor’s clinic. Why?!”

Needless to say, we were allowed in – first!

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